External validation works in the short term, its a quick fix that fades fast and then we have to start the cycle all over again.

Over time this might lead to us adjusting, our boundaries, our values and beliefs so that we can keep feeling validated by others.

Not only that, but, each time we look outside of who we are for validation we are telling ourselves that

• How we feel is not ok!
• What we think is not right!
• That being us is not enough!

But what can we do to break this cycle?

Get in a relationships with yourself…

• Learn more about yourself and accept who you are. We all have strengths and weaknesses, get to know them all and embrace them.
• Each time you notice a strength write it down, you can look back at your list when you need a boost.

Stop Comparing yourself…

• We all do it but we are all unique with unique strengths and weaknesses.
• That person that you look at and think is perfect or clever or popular, is just like you. They have strengths and weaknesses too.

Invest in yourself…

• Find the things you love and do them more.
• The more time you spend doing all the things that bring you joy the more you will begin to subconsciously tell yourself that you matter.

Stop…

• Mind-reading or predicting the future.
• Adapting or minimising yourself.
• Making excuses for how others have made you feel.

Always Remember…

You are the expert of you, how can other’s opinions matter when you are the only person who knows you inside and out… ONLY YOU CAN TRULY VALIDATE YOURSELF!

YOUR FEELINGS ARE ALWAYS VALID… Don’t let others take them away!

Respond to yourself how you would a friend!

Put yourself on a pedestal and know that those that work to get to you are worthy of your time and energy. No one should try to bring you down!